


Waking Up in an Unknown Room

by sapphire316



Series: Fullmetal Alchemist Amino Scenario Weekly Writing Prompts [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen, Mentions of underage drinking, Rated T purely because of Edward's mouth, SWW, Short Story, Smug Mustang, Smugstang, sick ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 02:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18326726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire316/pseuds/sapphire316
Summary: The moment he opened his eyes to a pounding headache, churning stomach, and a room he had never even seen before in his life, Edward Elric knew that this day was going to be one during which he quite simply hated everything.[Originally written for a Scenario Weekly Writing prompt on Fullmetal Alchemist Amino]





	Waking Up in an Unknown Room

The moment he opened his eyes to a pounding headache, churning stomach, and a room he had never even seen before in his life, Edward Elric knew that this day was going to be one during which he quite simply hated everything.

The young alchemist groaned loudly, bringing his left hand up to his pounding forehead to rub it mercilessly, as though he could just force the pain out from beneath his skin simply by pushing hard enough. He tried to lift his right arm up as well, but the automail limb felt even heavier than usual, so he eventually gave up with another soft groan.

“Ugh…” he mumbled aloud, closing and reopening his blurred eyes several times over. “W-What...the hell...h-happened…?” Of course, though, the darkened, empty room offered no response.

At least, not until a few minutes later, when the door opened and let in a colossal amount of light that was just _too damn bright._

Yet another aggravated groan escaped Ed’s lips as he threw his flesh arm over his eyes to block out the offending light. “Noooo…” he whined through gritted teeth as a sharp pain stabbed through his head. “Too...b-bright…”

Suddenly, a light chuckle sounded from the direction of the doorway, one that made Edward freeze from the painful familiarity of the voice. The boy slowly lowered his arm as much as he could without burning his eyes once more, just barely able to catch a glimpse of the dark silhouette in the doorway.

His golden eyes narrowed.

“Ah, Fullmetal,” the figure at the door said in his smug, arrogant, _bastard-ish_ voice that never failed to make Ed’s temper flare. “Good, you’re awake. Sleep well?”

“Sh-Shut up...bastard…” Edward growled, taking a moment to attempt to struggle into a sitting position before finally giving up and settling for lying still and scowling. “W-Where...the hell a-am I…? And...w-what the hell...happened!?” He visibly winced as his stomach turned with the effort of trying to shout, and he was forced to take a few moments to breathe deeply to push back the nausea.

“Well, it’s an interesting story to be sure,” Colonel Roy Mustang replied casually, the smirk almost audible in his voice. To Edward’s relief, the man closed the door against the blinding light, letting the room fall once again into comfortable dimness, but the fact that Mustang continued speaking still irked him to no end.

“If you’ll recall,” he went on amusedly, settling down in a chair a bit to the left of the bed Edward now occupied. “Yesterday happened to be Havoc’s birthday, so we held a bit of a small party for him after work hours, which involved making a stop at a bar, per Havoc’s request. Now, we were going to leave you and your brother behind, because, of course, bars are no places for children--”

Edward had to quite literally bite his tongue to stop himself from snapping back at the insinuation that he was a mere child.

“--however, a few individuals might have partaken in a bit of teasing related to your age and, ahem, stature as relative to alcohol consumption, so...you were quite quick to insist on coming along to prove us wrong.”

Ed’s eyes widened, then closed in exasperation. “U-Ugh…” he moaned, turning his head away from Mustang. “I can...see where this is going...d-damn it…”

If anything, Mustang’s smirk only grew wider. “Oh, but I haven’t finished my story!” he pointed out with a chuckle. “It really is a good one...would you mind if I continued?”

If looks could kill, Mustang would have been dead a dozen times over from the glare Edward shot him in that moment. Unfortunately, however, the headache and nausea rendered the young alchemist physically unable to get up and deck the colonel as hard as he possibly could, so he instead settled for an irritably mumbled, “N-Not like I have a choice...d-damn bastard…”

Mustang, like the walking irritation that he was, grinned and continued. “As it turns out, it’s relatively easy for a teenager to gain access to a bar, provided they’re a state alchemist and excellent at not only making threats, but following them up. I will say that we all tried our best to deter you from your little...quest, Al especially, but you seemed determined to prove that you were, as you so delicately put it, ‘not a goddamn tiny pipsqueak of a lightweight, you assholes.’

“At any rate, you somehow managed to get ahold of a couple of drinks and downed them at an impressive rate. You then proceeded to stand up, turn to face us, grin triumphantly, declare, ‘Seeee? Noooot a liiiightweight!’ then promptly collapse on the ground, out cold.”

Edward visibly cringed as his face reddened in embarrassment. Damn him and his stubborn pride...he just had to go and make a fool of himself, didn’t he? At that moment, he just wanted to curl up into a ball and never move again.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that Mustang _still_ wasn’t done.

“As for where you are now...” he said with a slight laugh suggesting that Edward wasn’t going to like whatever he was going to say next. “Well, as your superior officer, I had to take it upon myself to sacrifice my own personal enjoyment in order to ensure your wellbeing. Thankfully, you’re not such a lightweight that you were in any need of serious medical treatment, so rather than a hospital, I, regretfully enough, was forced to bring you here so I could keep an eye on you.”

Here, Mustang paused, allowing Ed a few moments to consider what he might say next. Then, all of a sudden, it hit him.

He groaned again.

“N-No way…” he grumbled, a scowl coming to his face. “A-Am I...in your g-goddamn house…?”

“That is correct,” the colonel confirmed. “I assure you...I wasn’t keen on the idea either, even if I never really use this guest room anyway. I’d certainly have preferred to not grant you the potential to be able to wreck my home, but Lieutenant Hawkeye can be quite...convincing.” He took a moment to shudder, then let the easy grin return to his face. “In any case...how could I pass up the opportunity to witness how you deal with a hangover?”

“Sh-Shut the hell up…” the younger alchemist groaned, half-heartedly thrusting his middle finger in the colonel’s direction. “J-Just you wait...I’m gonna...I-I’m gonna trash this whole d-damn place...once I c-can...get up…”

“I’m sure you will, Fullmetal,” Mustang replied nonchalantly. “Though won’t your brother try to stop you? He’s just a room away at the moment, after all.”

“Ugh...h-he can...stay...o-out of it…I-I’m gonna kick...y-your sorry ass, b-bastard…”

To Ed’s frustration, Mustang merely laughed once more. “For what reason? All I’ve done is look after you. Personally, I think you should be thanking me.”

“Sh-Shut up…” the boy retorted with a glare. “J-Just...get out...leave m-me alone…”

The colonel smirked slightly and stood up, once more walking to the door. “Fine, then. Get some rest, Fullmetal,” he advised. “There’s a glass of water on the nightstand; drink some. And get up later for food.”

“D-Don’t...tell me w-what to do…” the blond grumbled, eyes already sliding closed against his will.

Mustang chuckled. “I’m your superior officer. It’s my job to tell you what to do.” With that being said, he exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him and leaving Edward alone in the dark silence.

“F-Finally…” Edward mumbled, curling up as much as he could manage beneath the blankets. “B-Bastard better w-watch out...t-tooootally gonna wreck this whole d-damn place…” Content with his plans of future destruction, the Fullmetal Alchemist allowed himself to drift off to sleep, remaining blissfully unaware of the inky black mustache and glasses that had been drawn on his face the night before.

In permanent marker.


End file.
